Can I believe my truth is a fact? My proof is a feeling – a feeling of spaciousness, peace and confidence. I trust this particular feeling because it is a body/heart/gut experience, not in the head. The head can plays tricks.
In knowing my own journey to living true to myself today, I had to live for years in denial. It was true that I had low self-esteem, disguised by arrogance; I compared myself with others and blamed the world for my woes. Its not until I got so sick of living beneath my truth that I was prepared to face it! In fact my truth was exposed when I adopted the values that I had always justified out: Integrity, commitment, etc.… those boring things.
Adopting a principled framework expanded adventure, curiosity, childlikeness, passion and connectedness. My truth.
Along with getting real and eventually ceasing to resist the obvious reasons for my pain I started to be open to learning and practicing the following principles:
Reality is a Construction: Or the map is not the territory, this is neuro-linguistic concept. Understanding that my view of the world is coloured by my beliefs (role modeled from my parents or spawned out of significant events in childhood), culture, memories etc.…basically the cause and effect perception limiting my natural born right to see life as it is…just life.
With time and persistence I shifted my own reality…defaulting to love, acceptance and compassion for the world and me. My reality became expansive rather than a source of pain. I changed the construction of reality via my attitude.
Got Authentic: I realized it was ok to be me with all my failings and strengths. It’s OK to be embarrassed, its OK to fail. When everything is OK, because it’s all of me. I can be Me. I stopped laughing at jokes that I didn’t think were funny (people pleasing). I expressed my opinions without fear of judgement or retribution. I started to see people react to me being authentic and vulnerable, they looked more relaxed!
So I saw the evidence of being true to myself contributed to the world as well as myself!! Then I thought wow…energetically I must have made people very nervous for a long time! Having said this I noticed the quality of my friendships mirroring my state…some people feel “safe” if I’m not. When became more authentic and started follow my heart in my passion and purpose in life, the type of person I attracted was closer to my truth!
Being Present: Very popular concept these days. Psychologists use “Mindfulness” as a practical tool for behaviour disorders. If I place a “meaning” behind a situation I don’t see the situation. When I give my entire focus to what is going on at that moment I relax and “expand.” Try brushing your teeth feeling every bristle on every tooth. Being stuck in traffic in Bali is a great practice for patience and presence…instead of swearing with words, I swear with love…love it!
Listen to music…sing…love that crazy driver.
Always obey your gut: OR the intuitive “brain”. I started to listen to my body more and my mind less. If I act out a behavior that didn’t align with my Truth I feel it before I judge it. Trust your body’s response.
Carefully obey your heart: When you give yourself full love and grace first, it is ok to obey your heart. If your heart is empty you could love anybody!
Be accountable: Honour your truth by taking responsibility for everything you do. People will want to do business with you. Don’t run or deny it will snow ball away from your truth. I mean be accountable for you feelings and your actions, don’t project them.
This is but an introduction about being true to self in my understanding. I am always learning, and rediscovering new truths about myself. You all know the onion skin metaphor…unpeeling each layer as our true character is exposed through reactions to people and situations.
Live True to Yourself today!